Dear Kahoko
by season's call
Summary: A letter, where the SEISO prince poured his heart out and expressed his feelings for the only girl ever to touch his heart. Dedicated to all the Yunoki fans out there.....Love is not always about being together. It's sometimes about making sacrifices too.
1. Dear Kahoko

Disclaimer: I do not own La corda d'oro.

Inspired by the book 'Dear John' and dedicated to all the Yunoki fans out there.

Dear Kahoko,

I've been meaning to write this letter to you for a very long time. But, I had neither the right words at my hand that could do justice to my feelings, nor I had the courage to rebel against everything that had so long been possessing the major part of my life. But, in the present circumstances, I can care less about anything in the world other than you.

Surprised, Kahoko? Are you thinking what place you could possibly hold in the seemingly _very perfect_ life of mine? Well, I'm afraid I don't know it myself either. But, I know this much, since that fateful day when you entered the competition, my life has not been the same as it was before.

So, the question is what the reason behind the change was and whether it was better or worse. Ironically, I can't answer this either. All I know is that when the first time we met in the school corridor, my first impression about you was you were another one of those silly girls, who I can dazzle with one smile of mine. Later, if I need, I can make a good use of you during the competition. I guess I was right about the power of my smile, but for the other part, wrong.

You were a G.E. student, so like any other music student, I wasn't surprised when my assumption about your ability proved true and you came out to be 6th (or should I say last) in the first round. But I was feeling something else that day. For the first time in my life, I felt jealous. No, it wasn't your skill-level, nor it was your beauty or perfection, the sole thing that made my heart swing on that evening was the way you played your violin, the calm, peaceful yet joyous tune you produced filled me with emotions ; emotions I never thought I could ever experience.

I was stunned. So, you turned out to be the silly girl who possesses requirements to be an object of interest for me. I wanted to explore more about you. The camp at Fuyumi Villa could serve this purpose. On our way to the Villa when I gave you a ride, you told me about your so little experience in the world of music. But your performance told me otherwise. So, I felt a tinge of suspicion that maybe you have been cheating. I checked if anyone other than me felt like this. Well, apparently, they didn't. They were convinced about your god-gifted talent. Unfortunately, I couldn't.

In those two days, I couldn't set myself right even for a moment. I sometimes asked myself, _why am even bothered about you in the first place_, when you were nothing but an ordinary girl lucky to even enter the competition. But the last night of our stay brought the answers to all these questions. Yes, the night you played Ave Maria with Tsukimori. Everyone else staying in the Villa could feel the emotions and ease behind your playing. For me, it was much more than that. It was beyond words, beyond feelings. Like Shimizu said, it was _magical._

Yes, it was magic. In what other name can I call it? That night, in the moonlight, with every stroke of your bow, the melody your violin presented to my ears, each beat, each tune mocked at me, slowly melting the ice around my heart. It was like a carefree, jolly wind from the south that swept away the invisible wall that had been covering my heart and revealed my true self in front of me. It felt like joy, looked like beauty; but above all, it smelt like freedom, the single aroma I always craved to savor.

So, all of us went to bed that night with the reminiscence of Ave Maria, except me, who was restless all night, because I felt a lion was freed in my chest, the lion that had been hiding in a dark cage there for a very long time. This lion was hope, my hope for freedom and also fear to lose every thing I had built around me all my life. This fear led me make the worst mistake of my life.

When we were back to school, I was sure of my strategy to protect my existence, which was to demolish every bit of your confidence, liveliness that make your music so very pure and innocent, to destroy the very _annoying_ Kahoko.

Yes, Kahoko, I did tell you that you were very annoying, didn't I? I guess I never explained why I called you that. I devised a ploy to revenge you, for making my perfect existence stand on a shaken ground. I thought of embarrassing you, making you upset, by not pretending around you, not faking smile towards you. I decided to let you have a look into the real me. The real me, who is not the Charming Prince of SEISO, who can be devious, cruel, scary, 'the real man behind the iron mask'.

I took my first attempt on the rooftop at your practice; I cornered you, and then threatened you to stay away from the competition. You sure were scared then, weren't you, my sweet Kahoko, to find such an evil inside me? I felt a strange contentment while looking at your wide open eyes, filled with fear and disbelief, and cheeks reddened with sweat. Oh, I so much enjoyed myself that moment. I wish I had known the outcome of this back then.

. I was sure my threat would affect you; I knew I had a tremendous effect on you. What I didn't expect was our other friends' transformation. Every single one of them was changed in their own way after you had come along. I could only laugh at their foolishness and took advantage of it. I tried to mess up everyone's feelings for you and have it useful in my way to win the competition. Yes, that was my motive back then. In the process, I was the one who spread rumors about you and Tsuchiura and at some points, about Tsukimori too.

Feeling angry Kahoko, to hear someone can be so very selfish to do all these just to win a mere competition. I bet you are, who wouldn't be? But, what if it wasn't mere after all, what if it held a different meaning for me, far more different and important than it was to any of you? What if it was the only door to make my dream come true?

Yes, my dream, Kahoko, Like any other average student, I have dreams, about my life, my future, my flute. I had them ever since I was a little boy. But the difference is at those times, it wasn't revolved around flute, it was piano back then. But as you saw, my grandmother thinks too much well for me and my family, she thought it would be waste of time into nothingness to have two pianists in the family as one of my brothers already majored in piano. So, like every tiny decision concerning my life, she handled this as well and as a result, I had to give up my dream to be a pianist and was entrusted (or should I prefer 'forced') to be a flutist instead.

Look at me, what am I doing here, filling you up with all the backdrops of my life. No, Kahoko, that's not why I'm writing you this letter. Just that, my heart is tired, tired of holding all these stories to myself. Now, as it has found a way to reveal, it tends to spill all at once. Forgive me, for being carried away like this. But, yes, it's necessary for you to know why I wanted to win the competition so badly. It was my only chance to prove to my grandmother that, I too, like any other student in the music department, wanted to lead a career as a professional musician. That was my dream. I too, wished to enroll into Music University instead of turning to be the next tycoon in the business empire.

And so, like I said, I needed to win the competition and I was sure of it. But, there again, you amazed me when I found out, my good friend Kazuki had taken an interest in you, the last thing I ever imagined to happen. It wasn't surprising to see him fall in love with, knowing him, you too know that it was bound to happen. But, it was shocking to find his music changed and the day we three went the gift shop to buy his brother's gift, I observed you two closely, having so much fun with each other. I saw a new Kazuki, his eyes having a strange sparkle whenever he looked at you. It became crystal clear to me, even before it was to him, that he was in love with you. And, guess what, he never told me this, he who never forgets to mention every little details of his day to me.

Again, you won. You won over me and took my only, precious friend away from me. I was angry with you, I was angrier with myself because I couldn't figure out what magic you had that makes you so powerful to produce drastic changes in their lives. First it was Tsukimori, then it was Kazuki. Both of their music took a new road after they had met you. Yet, I was stunned to see the power of your music, but I was not fool like others to fall into that little magical instrument of yours.

Yes, Kahoko. I did give you hint, didn't I? Very soon, I discovered you weren't the one who played the violin; you did have help from someone or something with that. And, as I pondered over and over, soon the shocking truth dawned to me, that, I too, like our other fellow friends, was changed because of you. The more I let the true self of mine expose in front of you, the more it wanted to be. It wanted to taste more freedom; I wanted to be more and more human, I wanted to be more me with every passing moment I spent with you. I was like a bird that once had a chance to spread its wings in the sky for a day, now it could no longer be contented in its cage that used to feel like home before that memento was gathered. It wanted to remain free forever.

You see the flaw in my plan now, don't you, Kahoko? My plan backfired on me. The plan was to make you suffer and I lurked around you to make things worse for you. But, soon, I realized I was doing that, because being around you, teasing you made me happy, I was enjoying myself. So, I fell into my own trap, I grew used to being with you. It started to feel like an addiction. I could not pull myself to be away from you. Even that day in the hospital wing, when I had you all to my own, I was supposed to be notorious, but I couldn't, I found out there , at that moment, I could no longer hurt you, I could not harm you.

I asked myself countless times in my solitary moments back home, _why am I feeling like this and what are these feelings really?_ Even the great Maestro everyone knows at school, who's likely to answer any question asked, had a hard time solving this little puzzle of heart. But, soon, I found out what this all means. I was indeed a fool_,_ for letting myself to be so vulnerable_, for not knowing it all this time, that I too have fallen in love with you, in the most peculiar way._

Yes, I spent too much time on observing and prying on others and especially on you that I was completely oblivious to the undeniable truth that I too, like others have altered from my true nature as a result of having too much of your company. I was shocked, yet I was happy. Then and There, I found out that the true key to the door to my happiness, to my freedom, which was not winning the competition. The key was you. So, to keep this sweet dream wrapped with my life, I had only one choice; to make my unique treasure, my private sole source of entertainment, mine and only mine forever. And, that treasure happens to be you, my dear Kahoko.

In order to do so, I had to be sure of your feelings towards me and I decided to test you. And that is the reason why I picked you to pretend to be my girlfriend ( this word does sound like honey, doesn't it ,Kahoko? I wish I could have you in that position in my life in reality) in front of Ayano. Again, you amazed me and agreed to help and it made me see hope. I thought I still had chance (Ah, how foolish I was to think that! Had I known the harm that had already been done was of that sort that can never be restored.)

There, my innocent little friend Kazuki and his little eavesdrop and misunderstanding caused our other musician friends end up at my house. It did alter my plan in a certain way, but I used this chance to know their feelings for you, how they react to see the two of us together. But soon all my cheers were gone when I heard you explaining to Ayano about love. In front of my eyes, I saw you encourage her to be the one and only love for the man she'll marry, you told her to be strong. Thanks to you, nobody paid attention to me while you said these all.

I was dropped dead at your words. All joy seemed to evaporate as soon as I understood, that was the perception you had about your own lover, you yourself would want to be the sole woman in your man's life. And that was such a life that I could never give you in my family, one that has a long tradition and history of countless wives and mistresses. I realized, the moment you'll step into my life, my world, my house, on that very moment you'll be bidding farewell to all the things that are wonderful and genuine about you, your carefree style, your innocent, sweet attitude, your clumsy yet bold behavior ; all the things that made me love you.

I felt so ashamed back then. What right I had to bring you and bolt you to the very same shackles that had been haunting me all my life and put obstacles in my way to enjoy life like I wanted? But I was reluctant to admit defeat and let go of my love, my freedom that easily. I convinced my heart to give myself one last chance. I even prepared myself to go against my grandmother if that gives me a chance to win you. At that point I won the third round of the competition and I decided to bring your topic in front of grandmother on this occasion. I was full of hope. But, alas! Again fate wasn't with me and what I found as a reward from her for my achievement was an order for studying abroad. Fate did play a game of irony with me.

If it was before, it wouldn't bother me the least to go or not. In the life I led before your arrival, it wouldn't matter much to me whether I stay here or not. My life was focused on taking over the family business and I accepted that to be my world( if it was a world at all). I had everything grey in my life.I had no world at all until you came in and became my world., the sole colorful thing in my world, that painted my heart with the warmest shade of blue, the color of love. Only you( other than Kazuki) have been able to catch glimpse of my heart and I always felt closer to you two than anyone else, maybe because you two were so very opposite of me, always having the best of your lives, Your lives seemed so much closer to me, yet so very distant that I could never taste it. .Oh, I was so jealous of you two.

But I could go there, Kahoko, I really could abroad if only I knew you'd also be accompanying me. Then I would've considered it as a boon, not leaving you, rather having you all to my life. So, this was my sole chance to know where my place was in that charming heart of yours.

So, I offered you to come with me abroad. I guess, I really couldn't read you well, or else I would've noticed that you weren't like any of the girls I've known so far, so approaching you had to be different too. And the damage I inflicted before discovering my attraction towards you also gave me away. So, you said no, no to my offer for you to come, which was also my offer for your hand. I lost it, I was defeated to you in the battle of love. Even with a direct invitation, I could not manipulate you, I could not defeat you. You were the one who won instead. I not only lost you, also lost hopes for my freedom too. They were all gone. All I was left with was emptiness, a sinkhole at the back of my heart, which was alien to my life after you shine in there.

I gave up, Kahoko, I admitted my defeat and I don't blame you for any of this .I guess, it was the biggest game of destiny, it showed me the shiny end of a ribbon called hope, I ran and ran after it, but in the end I found it wasn't meant for me at all.

I know I should've approached you differently. I was supposed to be gentle, kind , warm, everything nice but I ended up making you suffer, making you scared of me. You finch away from me, you shudder even at the very sight of me. But, tell me, Kahoko, what else I could do? I was raised to be elegant, elite and fashioned in lifestyle. I knew perfectly well how to knot a bow-tie, but I had no clue how it feels like to pick gifts for your near ones' birthday. I was taught how to treat a hundred guests in a family party, but I wasn't taught how to confess your feelings without pretending, towards someone you love. I learnt how to dazzle a group of ladies with charming smile and present fake compliments to them, have dinners with them at luxurious restaurants, but how it feels to look at the moon, to walk by the sea-shore holding hands of your loved one, was unknown to me. All I knew was to pretend, I played my role as an obedient son and grandson, an ideal student, a good brother, a people's person, a maestro and all other roles that had fallen on me. In the end, I no longer could recognize myself in the mirror, my own voice seemed stranger to me. All I say, seems lies now, even if I smile from my heart, they seem fake even to myself. Anger was forbidden for me, being myself was an outcast from my life book. I realize that I was not human at all. A simple actor who pretends to live the life of someone, who was not himself at all. You could not have someone in your life, Kahoko, who was so opposite of you. But, you could've changed it. You had that magic. Like I said, _you are the best thing a guy could ever ask for._

I guess, I can answer the questions from before. Now, do I love you? No, I don't love you , Kahoko, I cannot , I'm not allowed to love you. It's just that every time I play the flute, I play for you. Every time I look at the red sun, I feel your presence by my side. Every time I hurt myself with a cut or a bruise, I think of you attending to me and the pain stops immediately. Every time I fall ill or have a nightmare, I call out to your name. And, every dream I have is about you. You can't call that love, Kahoko, can you? That can't be love, that just can't be. Or maybe it is, I just don't know, as I never learnt what true love, of any sort, really is.

They say, people who are difficult to love, it is considered that they need it most. I guess, they are right and I am indeed unfortunate to be one of the said lot. But I am tired now, so very tired of living a life of lies. I want to be out of it , I really want. I want to be like any other average young man of my age, full of energy, love, mistakes and determination. I want to be loved, to be with you, to be happy. Don't I deserve that much, Kahoko?

May be I don't. so, for this time, for this life, let your heart know that I don't love you. But if I have a second chance to start it all over , from the very first day of our meeting; if not in this life, but in another life,to have the fortune to have you in my life, to prove my love for you, I'll do everything in my power to make you mine. I'll behave myself. I'll be kind, gentle, good-natured, just the way you wanted your lover to be. I'll be the one you'll always go to when you'll need a shoulder to shed your tears on. I'll be someone who deserves you. I'll do whatever it takes to make you say those three very special words, that I long to hear from your sweet, melodious voice, slipping from that beautiful pair of lips yours.

As for this life, I have to say goodbye to my dreams of being your special one. All I want you to do is to forget me for what I am, what I was. Just when you look at the starry sky at night, look for a purple star, dimly emitting a faint glow, pretending to be a white one. When you'll find it, please look at the star. Think of me just then, remember me when you look at the star.

Same way it'll remember you, for eternity.


	2. His words reached her, at last

The door bell rang.

"Len, could you get that, please?" A female voice was heard, coming from the kitchen.

'Kaho, I'm helping Lyna with her bath, she's messing around with water again....no, no, no, .......don't touch that, honey,......." the rest of the male's words were drowned, Because a loud 'splash' of water was heard, from the bathroom upstairs , along with a lot of child-giggles.

Kahoko smiled, while placing the fresh-baked cake on the dish and closed the oven-door. This has become a regular routine since Len volunteered to help his daughter with her bath. It was kind of amusing to see her husband, the world-famous violinist, getting harassed, wet from head to toe every time he gets in there with his 4 years old little girl.

It's sometimes hard to understand which one was supposed to take bath at the first place once they get out of there.

"Alright, Len , I'll get it. Lyna, don't give your dad a hard time." throwing the last sentence to her daughter, she approached the living room to get the door, still with her apron on her, drying her hands with a napkin.

She passed the grand piano on her way to the hall and placed the napkin on it. She turned the door-knob and opened the mahogany door slowly.

The delivery-man with red uniform was standing impatiently and considering the thought of pressing the bell-button again, when the door opened and he found a beautiful red-haired woman in her mid-twenties standing in front of him, with one hand on the knob.

'Afternoon, maam, Are you Mrs. Tsukimori Kahoko?" Seeing her nod in reply, he said, "You have a package here.' He motioned the rectangular box in his left hand and showed the place on the form with his other hand where she was supposed to sign.

Kahoko returned the hall after thanking the man and closing the door behind her, one hand clutching the box and the other one removing the tapes on it. Once she removed them all, she found a black envelope inside. She tore the opening and started reading from the top.

"Lyna, how many times have I told you not to turn the shower on me like that? Look, you got daddy wet again." a very wet Len entered the room, talking to his daughter( who was grinning broadly at her father's disastrous posture) , He was drying off his blue hair with a towel in his hand, when he noticed Kahoko, standing in the middle of the room, staring at the piece of paper in her hand.

"Daddy, can I watch Tom and Derry?" he felt a little hand tugging the edge of his shirt before he approached to Kaho.

"You can, but don't watch from too close, ok, honey?" he wasn't paying very much attention to Lyna as he grew worried seeing Kaho like that, but he didn't ask her anything before Lyna was out of earshot.

"Kaho, what's wrong? Who was that on the door?" he asked once he neared her and saw the blank expression on her face, getting more worried.

Kaho, still dazed though, seemed to notice him just now, looked at him and then slowly gave him the paper.

Len clasped it in his right hand and saw that it was a letter, with the familiar emblem of Yunoki Group on the head. He glanced over it until he stopped at these words-

_We are sorry to inform you with heavy heart_

_the news of the untimely death of Yunoki Azuma, the third grandson of Mizuno Yunoki and the owner of Yunoki Glass Company._

_In his will, he bequeathed a certain box and its contents with you,_

_Mrs. Tsukimori Kahoko, that we,_

_as his solicitors, sending you herewith._

He glanced back at Kahoko, who was also looking at him, a little perplexed yet he could see the tears slowly forming in her eyes. He took the box from her hand, then put an arm around her and slowly led her to the sofa.

Once they sat, he put the box on the table and opened the lid only to find a slender, long case , which was still familiar to him, even after all these years. He stared at it for a moment, then passed it in Kaho's hand, and then dug more into the box and found a bundle of letters at the bottom( while watching Kahoko's reaction with the corner of his eyes).

Kaho slowly brushed her hand on the smooth edge of the box. Then taking a deep breath, she opened it, knowing too well what was inside, still she felt an uneasiness to look at that long instrument, nestling on the velvet underneath.

She looked up at Len, who was staring at her in a manner as if he was trying to weigh her feelings with his eyes. Then she noticed the bundle in his hand, watched him to pick one and then look at her, with question in his eyes.

She closed her eyes and gave him a nod.

He started –

_Dear Kahoko,............................................_

* * *

_Same way it will remember you._

As he pronounced the last sentence, he looked up at Kahoko, who had her eyes down at the flute in the box on her lap, like she did throughout the whole letter, thinking about the music it once created, and the owner of the lips who created those. Sighing once, Len picked up the next one.

She returned her glance back at Len, as he was putting the letters on the table, one by one, glancing over every one of them. When he put the last one down, he answered her query eyes.

'They all have the same thing, written over and over again." He managed a steady voice. Hearing him say so, she hesitantly picked all of them from the table and examined them. Once she was finished, she felt a rock throbbing on her chest, as she found something in them.

_I know_, Len thought, _it's about the date._

There were ten in total, each was dated June 18th, one in each of the past ten years.

_I wonder what's so special about that day....._

"It's his birthday." He found Kahoko saying, probably picking his trail of thought, in a slightly trembling voice. When he looked into her eyes, he understood, they were on the verge of tears. He pulled her towards him and hugged tightly, softly patting her back, while she cried on his chest silently.

"I never knew.....,"she let more tears fall on his already wet shirt, ' I never even imagined,.....he,.....of all people,.....and now this......" she couldn't finish the sentence as more tears formed and she choked.

Len patted her gently, slowly rubbing her back, while his mind lingered on her words.

_I know._

_I know you never knew it._

_And I also know that I knew it all along._

The sound of the phone ringing startled them both as they broke the embrace. Len went over to the small table and picked it.

'Yes, It's me." ..." Yeah, we heard about it.".........."You're all there?" .....".When's that"

"Alright, we're going as well." Listening to his words Kaho couldn't guess who it was on the other end.

"We'll leave first thing tomorrow morning." Finished Len placed the phone back at its place and turned to face Kaho's puzzled look.

"It was Hihara." The rest was understood easily with this, except the last part.

"You said, 'we're going'." Her voice sounded a little hoarse, because of crying earlier. "Where are we going?"

Len walked towards her and sat by her on the sofa again. He put his hands on her shoulder, gave a small press as he uttered the words, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"His funeral."

_

_

_

_

**Len's POV**

_Yunoki, you're a jerk._

I thought it for the fourth time during the funeral as I watched famous faces from the Yunoki Family giving their speeches, sharing their memories with Yunoki and prayed and sheding tears for him.

_As if they knew him._

_As if they knew what his life was really about._

I jerked my head to throw off this thought. _You're making it sound like you knew him_ _better than them_, I told myself, while leaning against the trunk of an ancient-looking chest-nut tree, watching the last flock of guests passing through the entrance of the family graveyard of Yunoki Group from a handsome fifty feet distance.

_You weren't even his friend, _my inner self started again_._

_True, yet truer is that I knew what he wanted in his life most, probably who he wanted, more than anyone in the world._

'_Course you know, but doesn't that make him your rival?_

The word 'rival' rotated my head towards Tsuchiura, who was talking to the priest at the entrance. Beside him, Hihara and Miyabi, Azuma's sister, were bidding farewell and thanking the last of the guests for coming. The ground was almost empty now, with only a dozen people including us.

_I assumed those two as my rivals._

_But him? Never._

As if feeling my eyes on him, the green-head raised his eyes at my direction, and then nodded in recognition. I returned it the same way, while my mind engaged on the information I heard earlier from him.

_The medical report said he had been using excessive hypnotizing medicines, some for stress relieving, that too for a very long period. That's the reason...._

_No wonder_, I thought, preparing to call him 'jerk' again, when a flash of memory of a conversation that took place ten years ago came swirling in front of my eyes.

_It seems just like it happened yesterday, so clear, so vivid, yet after all those years._

"_What do you mean by that?" I practically barked at him, when he didn't even flinch at the acid in my voice, though I knew very well he could feel it perfectly._

"_I was just curious to know how serious you are about your relation with Hino, that's all, no need to get mad, you know." I got even more irritated at that patient tone he used._

"_Why do you bother? That's none of your business."_

"_You wanna know? I don't think it'd be wise do so, it can ruin your goodnights' sleep." I felt like thrusting him on the wall, that was easy since we were alone in one of the sound- proof practice rooms in SEISO._

"_Listen, then, don't flatter yourself feeling that you won it having no rival at all, If I had come down the field, it would've been much different, not suited to your liking, if I may add." He had his back at me, I couldn't see his expression, but I could feel the hiss as a realization started to sub side my vexation._

_But I wasn't weak, so I snapped back, "O yeah, you think so, then? Why don't you try telling that to her?" Finding him silent for words, I pushed more, "Or are you afraid that she might reject you?"_

_He startled me as he spun around and retorted, "Don't you dare say that." He paused, as if suddenly realized his action and closed his eyes. I waited impatiently. I wanted to sort this thing right here, right now. _

_When he spoke, it was back to its usual calmness, his composed face also returned, but eyes still closed. "You should understand, Tsukimori, you, among all others. Come to think of it, I now realize that we are so very much alike, always being wrapped up with our family expectations. Maybe....." He chuckled sadly, "Maybe, that's what led us to this situation, we both seem to be so eager to hold on to the person who's likely to bring color to our life."_

_I stared at him incredulously; I had to admit despite my displeasure that he was right, almost right about that one. As I found myself mentally agreeing with that guy my brows frowned without my knowledge._

"_Then what's holding you up, huh? You aren't the typo to sit with your arms folded, when you know of your chance for sure." I asked, this time with less irritation, some how I suspected the answer that was coming._

"_Tsukimori, for me Hino's happiness is far more important, and as long as that's concerned I can't guarantee who she'll be happy with. I can only be sure of my unfathomable love for her," I winced slightly at the passion he said it with, " But in order to be happy in my family, that's not enough, I know that very well."_

"_And since she seems happy with you, I can't expect more for her. But I'm determined to make sure that your feelings towards her is unique and sufficient for the rest of her life, that's all that matters now."_

"_Are you so easily going to let go of her?" I can still remember my tone back then, irritation completely vanished, what left there was utter surprise and disbelief. _

_He startled me as he chuckled again. "Do you take me to be so very selfish, that I'll drag her in my world when I perfectly know there's barely a chance for her to survive there? Admitted that I do have some selfishness in me, but that's not so sheer that I'll forget where her greater benefit lies."_

_He moved his gaze back to me. I looked directly into his eyes and found that both our gazes softened a little._

"_So Tsukimori, rest assured, I'm not ever going haunt your life with her as long as I know you two are happy together. She'll never know about this, I guess it's better this way." His voice sounded a little melancholic, but he kept on, more firm this time, "I leave her in your hands only for this life. The next life and every life after that, keep in mind that you won't even stand chance."_

_He started walking towards the door, with my glaring eyes on his back. He halted at his step out of the door and added with face invisible to me, in a almost hissing voice "And while she's with you, dare you ever hurt her, I'll personally make sure you regret for that."_

_I snorted on his back and he disappeared._

I snorted just like I did that day. _Stupid Yunoki. Who did he think of himself? It was he who lost it, but he was pretending like he was acting martyr, doing me sort of favor. And it was his idea to keep this off ground. Now dead or not, why did he have to bring this up to her? Did he think he'll linger in her memory for eternity, if he confessed like this? _I felt like cursing him looking up in the sky. _Cheater. _

I heard light footsteps nearing me from behind. I looked back and my eyes found Fuyumi's small figure standing right behind me. When our eyes met, she gave me a small nervous smile.

'Don't you think you should be over there?" I followed the direction she pointed with her head and saw Hino, standing by the coffin, alone, her back on our direction.

"I think she needs you there." I looked back at her eyes and I got the answer immediately in there.

_She knows about him._

I nodded to her, then straightened myself from my momentary comfort of the tree-trunk and started patiently taking strides towards her frigid silhouette. With each taken step, I could feel a feeling processing inside my chest.

_Yunoki, you sure are a total stupid jerk. You shouldn't have let her go. You should've fought, fought for your claim for her. Win or not, you should've given it a try._

_But I gotta admit, you are not so selfish after all. In fact, if it's between the two of us, I guess, I am the obnoxious, more selfish one._

_If I were you, I could've never left her, no matter how important it was for her life, for her happiness. I would never have the heart to be away from her, once I'd known my freedom is only inches away. So selfish of me._

_The life she can give me, is just too good, too tempting to let go._

_But you had it, you'd done it._

_You sacrificed your happiness for her sake._

_So, not because I was afraid that you'd take away her, I really doubt that you could ever do that. She was never yours._

_Not because I'm happy that you are now out of the picture._

I closed my distance from Kaho slowly silently, as she stood still, with her back on me.

_Still, I can say as truthfully as I vow everytime Tsuchiura visits our place that I won't try to knock his head off his shoulder _

_I can say as blissfully as I say to Kahoko that I love her._

I could not see her face, but my experience of being with her for the past ten years told me she wasn't crying.

_Thank you, Yunoki._

I silently took position by her side and took her hand in mine.

_For loving her, for caring for her so much. _

She took the rose from my hand and embraced me, putting her head deep into my chest.

_Thank you._

___

___

_

_

Kahoko stood there, by his coffin, she couldn't look at him, she didn't want to.

She felt like crying for him, mourn for him. But she wasn't sure why she wanted to. She hasn't lost anything, for the past years he wasn't even a part of her life, they rarely spoke on certain occasions. But now, suddenly it felt like he was someone important.

But still she couldn't cry for him, she felt no tears coming own her cheeks, as if her eyes are out of water.

So she stood there, just stood there; numb, blank, confused, gloomy, lonely.

That's the least she could do.

She felt some one's presence by her, she recognized the scent. The person took her hand. It filled her with warmth and calmness. Her senses returned to her, as she felt the man putting something on her palm.

She looked into his eyes and found her answer.

She leant closer to the long coffin and gently placed the rose on his chest.

A droplet of water came down from her eyes, slowly found its way onto the rose, nestling on his chest.

Some where far from this world, a soul was rested in peace.

His words reached her, at last.


	3. Promise

_Mere words can't express my feelings_

_So, I pour my heart into my flute,_

_The music it brings out will fly above _

_and reach you and then confess my love._

_I used to think this is nothing but illusion,_

_So, I deceived my emotions and followed my intuition._

_Until I realized my wrong and now I have nothing, _

_My sole treasure is you and only you, you are my everything._

_O, my beloved, how I wish I knew how to show,_

_The thousand emotions I feel for you,_

_I wish I could turn back time,_

_Back to the days, when you could be mine._

_Now, the remorse I feel and the pain in my chest, _

_It's piercing through my heart, I can't resist._

_So I consider this my last chance for my story to be told, _

_Let me be given your precious time and here my tales unfold._

_Let me call out to you and pronounce my parting words, _

_Or are they really words, oh, they feel like swords._

_My eyes are burning like hell,_

_I remember all the things I always wanted you to tell._

_But, ah, it feels so peaceful to be in your arms,_

_So close together, with you, fragrant and full of charms._

_Oh, my beloved, mere words could not express my feelings,_

_The words I wanted to tell you, _

_The words, no matter how many times be told,_

_Will always feel new._

* * *

_Now you know._

_Every person gets a gift on the day they're born,_

_But I get the best one on the day I died,_

_Here you are, with a rose in hand, for me you mourn._

_The gift you give me is the greatest of all._

_For me you shed tears,_

_Ah, how I craved to see that all those years._

_I am content now, having no regret,_

_My words reached you, all thanks to my fate._

**6 months later......**

"Lyna, don't go to close to the water,......., here, grab mommy's hand......that's like my good girl." I put down my pen and looked up from my notebook and saw the two red-heads coming towards me.

I glanced over the sea-shore. Just a few flying sea-gulls and from a mile or two from the coast, a light- house could be seen. And nothing else. Oh, yes, and there's we three, the Tsukimoris.

I was out having a walk and scribbling some entries in my notebook. We've been here in this island for almost two weeks now. The locals call it The Isle of Sheep (who knows why), but we haven't seen any sheep till today. It's hundred and a few miles east from Amsterdam.

This vacation here is a gift for both the mom and daughter. Kaho had been very persistent lately for a long time that we all should go somewhere away from home for a few days. I've been busy with my upcoming world tour and Lyna's going to school this year. So, 'We should have a good family time before that,' that's how she put it. And when her pocket edition teamed up with her in this mission, I had to give in immediately (I mean, who can resist those two sets of puppy eyes?)

"Daddy, we searched for the sheep again, but we couldn't find them." when the two of them closed the distance between Lyna ran up to me and said, between her gasps, "Why aren't they home, daddy?"

I chuckled, as I remembered how excited she was when I first told them the name of this place (it was a surprise when we left home), so eager to see 'lots of, lots of sheep'. She's been asking me and Kaho every now and then about it.

I looked at Kaho, saw her grinning as she was also waiting curiously to know what answer I give. I cleared my throat and pulled Lyna to me and set her on my lap. "Listen, honey, they are just on vacation, you know, like you, mommy and I are. That's why you can't see them around. You understand, don't you?" She nodded. "Why don't you fetch some shells for mommy? You know, I saw plenty of pink-shells here ," I took a quick peek at Kaho, " and, they're mommy's favorite."

'Really! Let's go, mommy, let's catch pinky shells, come on!" She stood up with enthusiasm and dragged Kaho along with her, pulling by hand.

I watched them picking shells; my family, the two most important persons in my life.

_Soon, it'll be three, _I remembered.

I looked at Kaho, saw her smiling face, then lowered my gaze to her mid-body, imagining the little life slowly forming there.

Yes, we're going to have our second child pretty soon.

Thinking of the baby reminded me of our little discussion two nights ago.

"_You sure, Len?" She eyed me with a little confusion .She was definitely not expecting this._

_I pulled her towards me and she rested her head on my chest. "Absolutely sure. I know you want this too." I murmured to her ear._

"_Yeah, But I didn't think, you'll want this, that's why I didn't tell you.....he wouldn't want this too......." She broke mid-sentence; silent for some moments then took a deep breath and faced me. "Thank you, Len." she smiled. "Then it's settled?"_

"_It's settled". I gave her a kiss on the forhead. "Just promise me, from now on, you'll always tell me what you want, whether it is something I like or not, okay?" She chuckled softly at my words. _

"_Promise" she promised._

_And I promise to fulfill your every wish, Kaho, no matter how much it may cost. You are so very precious to me._

_And I'm so very fortunate to have you in my life._

_Someone made me realize that._

_Someone, who taught me that love, is not always about being together._

_It is sometimes about making sacrifices too._

_Just that, not every one has the heart to do it._

_He taught me that._

_And I'm thankful to him._

_And I promise to him, Kahoko, I'll always take care of you._

_That's why, I promise, it's settled, as your wish ._

_Like every other things._

_Yeah, it's settled_, I thought as I stood up and brushed the sand off my clothes. Then slowly approached the duo, collecting shells like children.

The baby's due in March.

If it's a girl, we'll name her Kourina.

If it's a boy, we'll name him Azuma.

**If you think, the story's got a very melodramatic ending, review and poke me in there.**

**If you think it should've remained a one-shot, please review and tell me in there.**

**If you liked the poem/song in the final chapter, please let me know. I'd be very happy if you do, because I made it up myself.**

**Those who've read this fic, thanks a bunch. If you have any request regarding a new story on this pair or any other, tell me through PM or reviews.**

**This story is dedicated to Phoenixalia, who's not only a wonderful writer, also a wonderful friend to me.**

**Also to my reviewers: animchan, Jiyu22 and Flutist's fate.**

**And of course, to all the Yunoki fans out there.**


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